tday the 18 th  of march i would like to run back on my memories ofa small child.it was bright suny morning,i could hear the rays of sun brushing on my face and asi wake up from my sleep i can hear loud noises of my parents across the hall.i stood inside my room not to interupt the conversation but,being a silent listener."i don’t wish to live with u.it’s all over .get out of my house ” said my dad wallen.my mother ran towards my room my father behind her grabbing her in one hand and me in a nother.after few moments i realize i ‘m at my nanna’s place unable to understand the major storm that struck my life.
my mother lay paralyzed not responding to my nanna’s queries with a grif struck face.i quickly summarised the things i witnessed to my grand mother.as the days passed i used to sit and watch my mother ,not responding to my queries,not playing with me ,staying isolated.slowys,i realized that my mom had been to psychiatrist.it was too much for me to understand my nest was broken at the age of seven.
   my aunty(mom’s sister0took care of me since then.i satyed with them in their little apartment with my aunt,uncele,neice,nanna and granpa and my mother.the days moved very slowly i used to see the doctor visitng my mother frequently,questioning me sometimes and then disppearing.i knew i had o father now,and my mother could hardly recognise my presence.i used to go to school regularly,i was the topper till i finished my high school.there were lonely tearful nights,looking at my aunt and her family and wondering what had happened to mine?but,my aunt made sure i had the best of things.
i survived through all odds as young brat,teenager and learnt life though trial and error method.
i used to see the lives of leaders,fighters and understood life is not a bed of roses.i took my mother to my graduation ceremony being the university topper but,there is my mother unable to understand that she is witnessing one of the most memeorable moments of her daughter’s life.as tears rolled my cheeks i accepted my degree and  kissed her.it has been now more than 12 years her treatment continuing to be the same with no results.
i met this boy when i had been to my computer classes.he came one day and proposed me.i had known for years together since he was my childhood friend.i thought he would take care of me and my mother and atlast i have found a guardian angel to deliver me from all my pain,to shower the love that i have been longing to receive…
unaware of the great danger i’m about to enter i looked forward for my great day .i had quiet and beautiful marriage with a few relatives and loved ones by my side and my motherwho is not able to perceive the visison in front of her eyes..
i was happy for a month ,he was very dominating person,having strong likes and dislikes,but was greatly in love with me i thought so.one day i heard his conversation with someone over the phone saying “i;m not happy with her,i will come back to you honey!"those words wounded me deeply for i was now sure he has a love life which is still continuing and i was an odd man out!
         now,what to do?can i run to my mother and explain to her?what ’s use she will not be able to understand and be of any help.so i preferd to ask him.he came home that night and when i asked him"oh my god!i cud see him smash the t.v,break all things on dressing table and there i sat trembling in fear.he said"yes,i married u for my parents liked u,i dont love u nor ur sick mothe———"i was shocked.
                 he continues"u shall reamin to be inside this locked room.i don’t want u to leave this place.my parents have big political background i don’t want my family’s name to be misjudged’”
              for 2 days i lay dopwn crying ,cursing god for my fate but,i knew i ahd to move away from this man"who married me to plaes his parents and who doesnt love me,and worried about their family’ goodwill".
              so,at that midnight i had asked the lady to open the door for i needed to call my sicjk mother.when she did open i took a wooden stand and hit her on her head.as, she collided unconsicous i left the room.
                      i could not got to my aunt cos she had moved to a another city.i took some money and my passport i stayed in one of my old relatives house which could not be traced.next day morning i could see my ex husbqnd has been looking out for me.i quickly booked tickets and moved out of the town.
                                 i came to new town ,got my self a new job staying at hostel after a fortnight of continous interviews.i was offered the job of training manager,prestigious poistion  which my marks and my capabilities have fetched me.i knew the next thing i had to do was to call my mother.i had sent tickets through my relative and they had made sure my mother had safely reached the airport with no suspect from my ex husband and his gang.
 now tday i have rented out a flat, living with my mother continuing her treatment,my pussy renee,my collegeaues who drop in every now and then to see me and my mother,my boss who believes i can do a lot of wonders….
i’m cherishing this new life,by every minute,trying to forget my painful past and my mother who has been my secret motivation in my life.
i have no time for u guys cos i have lots to reach in my life and grow more stronger and stronger each day…
thakyou for being patient enough to read an excerpt from my life.

Name / Location:

deeparajesh
india